So I've been starting to ease into tabletop games. I had a chance in University but it didn't go well, basically because I didn't have anyone to help me learn the rules, help make a character, etc. There was a surge of RP threads on Forumopolis and I managed to get into the "weeknight" group, folks who could play a game in the regular week rather than early on the weekend or whatnot. So we game every Thursday night for a few hours using MapTools, a program that makes grid maps, dice rolls for specific attacks & skills at the press of a button, all that good stuff. It's about as close to a table top game as you can get online, especially if you have a bag of Cheetos beside you. Last night was our third or fourth game and we're starting to get the hang of things, though I'm asking a lot of questions.
I play a lawful good Dragonborn Paladin. Yeah, Dragonborn lol furry, but they have the best racial bonuses for Paladins. A couple of running gags I've got is that since the rest of the party is halfling, human and elf-based I tend to call them "fleshy ones". I also threaten to eat my enemies. And I am always looking for a helmet to wear since I couldn't find a decent cheap one at the start of the game. When we fight Dragonshield Kobold my dude usually yells out that he wants their helmets despite them being too small for his big fat lizard head.
So the four of us (we were five, then one had to leave, then we got a Bard, then the bard stopped showing up) get jumped at the excavated grave site of a dragon's skeleton where we had gone looking for a missing old man who was in search of TREASURE! After fighting a lot, getting mad at the enemy mage and laughing at the human rabble with their shovels we won the day. Finding out that they were Orcus worshippers I assumed they were trying to revive the dragon's skeleton to be some kind of bone dragon or something. So in character I ask for some help from the other characters to dig up the skull, not mentioning that it's so we can hide it or destroy it. Because what good is a headless dragon to evil people looking for a killing machine?
GM: Ghesh (that's my dude), that skull is as big as you are. You cannot wear it as a helmet.
I explain to the GM that I want to make sure no Orcus worshippers can revive the dragon, not wear it as a hat. And the GM is fine with that. But immediately afterwards we come across the loot and old man, whom tells us the BAD GUYS were after a magical mirror and not the dragon itself. So now there's no reason to try and smash the dragon's skull. But, as a player, my job is to confuse, enrage or amaze the GM at every opportunity. We decide we're going to head back to town instead of camping at the dig site for the night, since it's only a few hours walk away.
Then I tell the GM that I'm taking the skull back to town with us, just in case. Also that I'm going to ask the Blacksmith to make it into a shield for me. He's quiet for a little while and then says "okay."
Me: *while characters are doing some light travelling roleplay post-battle banter* I noticed you didn't object based on my religion, species or Lawful Good status.
GM: Your God doesn't really give a fuck. And the idea of a Dragonborn using a dragon's skull as a shield is both hilarious and awesome.
And so on the way back to town I carry it on my shoulders, with head inside, saying "rar, ima eatchoo" to my party members. This apparently cracks the GM up. I don't think Dragonborn are supposed to treat dragon remains this way but what do I know.
Back in town I get the Ranger to help sell the goods and sweet talk the Dwarf blacksmith.
Ranger: *bunch of stuff about a special job, about the seriousness and reverence my species has for dragons*
Me: (shortened) I wanted to prevent Orcus' followers from desecrating the body, and it seemed like a shame to let it go to waste, so I'd like you to make it into a shield. Also we're fighting a lot of Kobold and it'd scare the shit out of them or piss them off.
Ranger: (having typed before seeing what I said) It would mean a lot to him as a sign of reverence and honor to his forefathers.
Me: Oh. Yeah. That too. Honour. Forefathers.
Nerd humour looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool